Love Needed (The Love Is Series) Read online

  "Thank you, Cara," she whispered and left the office.

  In the corridor she let out a long shuddered breath and looked down at the thick file she was holding. She gripped it so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

  She knew Cara had done something to the reports, and it made her want to cry. They were all petrified of the Hounds and she knew that Cara had been through them once or twice as well. She'd risked a lot for her by keeping the reports under the table and not notifying Upstairs.

  On her way home reality started to sink in and relief gushed over her in warm waves. Mitchell asked for her on another job. She had a chance to pull herself together again, something to really focus her attention on and maybe escape the nightmare that she felt was trying to catch up with her from somewhere.

  When she got home she put the file down on her desk and changed into something more comfortable. With a cup of tea she sat down and started going through it.

  By the looks of it, Corview wasn't just the law firm she'd heard about. They were dealing in some sort of underground business as well and Natasha understood why that made them a target. If they were cunning enough in the underground world they would be able to unmask Blackwell.

  She didn't know how Research came by the information she ended up with, but she knew that they didn't work through standard channels, or legal ones. She laid out the wads of information on her desk and started working through them one by one. It was a big job. Ethan Houle. The name sounded familiar. She looked at the photos. He was attractive – broad and upright and oozing confidence. She poured over the information, scribbling notes and getting lost in her work like she hadn't done in ages, and when she looked at the clock and it was passed midnight she stretched and smiled. It felt good to be back.

  Chapter 2

  The pub was full and she squinted to see through the smoke, but it didn't take her long to spot him. He was sitting at the bar with his back to her, but she knew it was him. His shoulders were broader than in the photograph but when he turned she caught a glimpse of his face and she was sure.

  She pulled back her shoulders, flipped her hair and walked to the bar, standing close to him. She sighed dramatically and ordered a double vodka from the bartender who'd noticed her and jumped to serve her. She hesitated, and then added a lemonade to her order.

  "Wow," he said, looking at the drink the bartender pushed towards her, "rough day?"

  It was as easy as that to get his attention.

  She rolled her eyes, "you have no idea."

  "What do you do?"

  "I'm in public relations," she said, digging in her purse.

  "Here, let me get that for you," he smiled and pulled a note from him pocket. She smiled back at him and took a sip.

  "Public Relations huh? I didn't know that could drive you to vodka. What about it's gotten you so stressed out?"

  "The public."

  They spent the evening talking. He bought her another drink and the conversation flowed freely. It'd been years since she'd had to make so little effort to get along with a guy, she thought. As they talked she looked him over. He was much more attractive than in the photos she had of him. He was animated when he talked about things. His dark liquid eyes were captivating and he had a crooked smile that was almost as permanent as his self-assurance. He cracked jokes that were actually funny. She felt herself laughing and enjoying herself.

  Half way through the night she noticed Frank sitting at one of the corner booths with someone else she vaguely recognized from the office. Usually she was relieved at his presence, she felt safer when he was around, but tonight she suddenly felt irritated. She was enjoying herself and she'd just started to forget about work. His presence would remind her all the time that she was on an official case. She sighed. Just as she was starting to have a bit of fun.

  After that evening it didn't take long before Ethan phoned her and asked her out on a date with him. She declined his invitation with an excuse that she had to work but they spoke on the phone for almost an hour. Only after she hung up did she realize how long it'd been.

  The next invitation to go out for coffee she didn't decline. He appeared on her doorstep but he wasn't there with a car as she expected. They walked to the cafe on the corner that always smelled of freshly baked rolls and he ordered two take away cups of cheap coffee. Then he walked her to the park and they followed the foot path that twisted its way through.

  They talked about everything and nothing. She asked him what he did, pretending like she didn't know a thing about him, and he gave her answers that were cleverly evasive. He was in corporate law. He dealt with paper trails. He liked it when everything made sense; he was black on white.

  Natasha looked around to see if she could spot Frank, but to her relief he didn't seem to be around. She knew that he knew where she was, but curiously she found that tonight she wanted to be completely alone with Ethan. With every step that she took, he seemed like less of a job and more of a man, and by the end of the night she was fighting emotions she didn’t know she could ever feel. When they stopped under the big poplars at the lake and looked at the moonlight reflecting on the water they fell quiet. This is so cliché, she was thinking, when he pulled her close to him, held her delicate face in his big muscular hands, and kissed her. When he took her back to her apartment he bade her farewell with a kiss on the cheek, and as she locked up she knew she was in trouble.

  At work things were uneventful. Everything carried on like nothing had ever been wrong and Natasha was relieved that she could let herself forget how rotten and lost she'd felt just a few days before. Since she'd met Ethan everything had changed. Things felt like they made sense again. It always made her feel great when she was on a case, working, doing what she was good at. At the back of her mind she knew she had to be careful. There was something about him that made her weak at the knees. She wanted to see him, not because she was dedicated to her work, as before, but because she actually wanted to spend time with him. She kept on telling herself that it was just a job, he was just a target and she was just doing what she was trained to do. She'd almost convinced herself, but when her phone beeped with a message from him her insides did a little flip and everything she'd been trying to tell herself was forgotten.

  He met her for lunch an hour later, at a bistro on the outskirts of town. They talked and laughed and forgot the time, and two hours later over lemon meringue, with that crooked smile of his, he told her he was serious about her.

  They started spending more time together. She kept Blackwell up to date on her whereabouts, but there were times that she failed to tell them she was seeing him. She understood that it was for her own safety and for the good of the company that she had back up, and Frank was brilliant at his job, and at helping her with hers. But she didn't want him as a chaperon to her life.

  One night after they came home from a get together with some of Ethan's friends they were lying on the bed, silently in each other's arms. She loved his presence. She didn't have anything to say to him, and it didn't matter because he didn't want her to say things all the time. They could be quiet together and everything still made sense.

  He kissed her on her forehead. She tipped her head up and kissed him full on the mouth. Suddenly the atmosphere became electric. Their kisses became more passionate and their bodies drove closer to each other until Natasha wasn't sure where hers ended and his began. He slid his hands down her back and started fumbling with the hem of her shirt. Then he rolled her over and started pulling her shirt up, but she stopped him. Something suddenly felt wrong and she couldn't put her finger on it. She tried to ignore it, but as his hands found more of her body, the more she started panicking. She broke free from his urgent kisses and forced her shirt back down.

  "What's wrong?" he leaned back, looking confused.

  "I don't thi
nk we should do this so soon."

  He fell back onto his elbow and looked at her.

  "What do you mean soon? We've been together for a while, and you know how strongly I feel about you."

  "Yes I know, and I feel the same about you. I just think we should wait. There's no rush is there? We don't have to go so fast."

  "I don't understand. We're not going too fast, I don't see why we need to ruin something that's so beautiful between two people that are in love."

  "Well, it's too fast for me. I don't want to do it now."

  She was suddenly agitated. Why did he have to make an issue out of it? He was ruining a night that could have been perfect.

  He lay back on the bed and for a while he didn't say anything. After a few minutes of silence she turned to him.

  "Are you mad at me?"

  He hesitated. "I'm not mad at you. But sex is something that's important to me. It’s something that happens between people when they love each other. I can see that you don't have the same definition of it as I do, and I'm not saying I have a problem with it."

  "Then what are you saying?"

  "I'm saying that it's important to me; it's something that can drive us apart. It's a really big thing to me and you don't agree with what I'm feeling."

  "I didn't say I don't agree with you feelings, I just don't want to rush into things. I don't understand why it's such an issue."

  He turned onto his side, facing her full on, and put his hand on her cheek, cupping her face.

  "I don't want to lose you Tash; I don't want to have a disagreement about something that's meant to prove my love to you. I just want to give everything to you, to show you that all of me belongs to you. It just hurts that you're denying me this."

  She sighed. She felt horrible. Here he was declaring his undying love for her, and he was clearly trying to make a huge commitment. These were words that she didn’t usually hear from guys, and the fact that he felt so differently about sex – that it was about love to him and not lust as she was used to. She fought with herself, trying to decide what to do. She was tempted to give in; the way he was looking at her made her melt and his hand on her cheek was so warm and loving. But then that panicked feeling came back and she squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head.

  "I'm just asking you to wait. I want our first time to be something special. I'm not saying tonight isn't special, but after this conversation now it won't be the same. Let's just enjoy our time together."

  After that things were relatively incident free between them. The more she saw him the more she fell in love with him. Every day she fell deeper into his eyes. His hands were warm on her body when he held her and she felt safe and understood. She felt beautiful. There wasn't anything she couldn't face. Issues at work diminished in size, she was on time and always in a good mood and nothing went wrong. Her reports were correct and accepted.

  Cara smiled when she saw Natasha walk in in the mornings. When Dr Mitchell had given her the assignment she was worried that Tash wouldn't be able to cope with the intensity of it. The girl had looked like the was falling apart. But it appeared that being needed for the job did the trick. She was on top of her game and Cara could see nothing that gave her reason to worry anymore.

  Ethan surprised Natasha one evening. He arrived uninvited, and when he was sitting on her couch while she made coffee he cleared his throat,

  "I have to go to the coast on business."

  Natasha stopped what she was doing and turned to him. He hadn't been away since they started dating.

  "Will you be gone long?"

  "Actually, I was hoping you'd come with me. I want to show you our beach house there. Our family used to go there when we were kids and I want to share it with you. It's close to where I need to be for work."

  "That sounds amazing."

  "It really is - will you be able to come?"

  "I'm sure I can figure something out with my boss."

  She turned back to carry on with the coffee but her insides were buzzing.

  The next morning she cleared it up with Cara.

  "He's invited me to go with him to a family home at the coast."

  "Do you think you've got him?"

  "Got him?"

  "Yes, do you think the beach house is where we'll be sending Tactics?"

  Natasha felt a jolt. She'd forgotten about the job.

  "Yes," she answered quickly, "of course, that's why I'm asking."

  "You can have a few days to go with him. Do you know where it is?"

  "Not exactly, it would be strange for me to ask."

  "Alright, well let us know so we can get some back up down there."

  "Do you really think that's necessary? I mean, we've been around this guy a while now, and there hasn't really been a reason to say I definitely need Frank around."

  Cara squinted at Natasha. She opened her mouth to say something but hesitated. Tash felt uncomfortable. She knew that look; Cara knew something she wasn't supposed to have found out.

  "Don’t tell me you have feelings for this guy."

  Natasha shook her head irritably, "of course not."

  "Why don't you want Frank around?"

  "I just don't think it's necessary. I've been spending time with him and as far as my safety is concerned we can trust him. And surely you know me well enough to know that I'll report properly."

  Cara looked at Tash, again not saying anything. This time Tash fought the urge to squirm at all, and when Cara finally spoke she managed to stay expressionless enough.

  "You have to be very careful. I'll let you go on your terms but I can't be here for you if something doesn't go the way you planned."

  "Relax Cara, it's just another job, remember?"

  Cara grunted as Natasha got up and left the office.

  They left before sunrise and drove together in the dark. The car was quiet and cold with the morning air, and when the first rays of sunlight crept over the horizon Natasha sighed and looked at Ethan. She was so happy. What she felt from him crashed over her like waves on the shore.

  They arrived at the beach house and it was beautiful. Sanded wood floors and whitewashed walls, doors that opened out practically onto the beach and shells everywhere. They put down their bags and he scooped her into his arms and kissed her long and deep. When they broke free he looked at her with those eyes whispered "I love you".

  They spent the day on the beach and in the evening they drove to a cafe in the small little town. There they had seafood and wine for dinner and laughed about silly things. Back at the house they cuddled up in front of a movie and she fell asleep in his arms.

  The next morning she woke up in a big double bed in the main bedroom. He must have taken her there last night after she'd fallen asleep. She got up and walked around the house, looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. In the kitchen she found a note on the counter letting her know he'd gone out to take care of some business and he would be back later.

  She sighed.

  After breakfast she started looking around the big house. It had two stories; everything neatly made up and well decorated. She stopped in one of the bedrooms to look at the photos against the walls. She'd never met Ethan's family, but it looked like he could be related to some of the people in the photos. In the hall she saw more photos, some of them where he was standing with his arm around girls, some of them where the girls were alone. She didn't see any photos that could have been his parents.

  She got bored with her own company. She stood outside on the patio overlooking the beach, staring across the ocean. The wind was brushing her cheeks and pulling her hair, whispering and breathing and she followed it onto the sand and down to the water. She walked along the shore, pick
ing up shells and humming softly to herself.

  Out of nowhere a storm suddenly showed itself, and before Natasha could think twice dark clouds were rumbling all around her, pulling across everything with a curtain of rain. She was soaked almost immediately. She looked back and realised how far she’d wandered from the house – it was only a speck far down the shore line. She held her arms and shivered. Lightning started playing across the sky, and through the deafening cracks she heard someone calling. She turned around, straining to see through the rain. A short distance away, under an overhang created by rocks against the rise of the dunes she could make out a shadowed figure waving at her. She hesitated for a second but after another bolt flashed, followed by a loud crack, she ran to the shelter.

  She exclaimed loudly when she was out of the rain and shook her hands.

  “Thank you, I have no idea where that came from,” she shouted above the roar of the storm.

  “No problem, you should keep a close eye on the weather down here.”

  “I’m Natasha.

  “Martin.”

  He was tall and skinny. He had sharp features and a hard expression, and piercing green eyes that stormed furiously along with the weather. His manner was calm though, and he smiled at her when she shook his hand.

  “I haven’t seen you around here.”

  “I haven’t been here before, I’m here with my boyfriend - he’s down for work.”

  “And who is he?”

  “Ethan Houle.”

  “I haven’t heard of him. Chances are I’ll recognise his face though.”

  “He’s in law.”

  “Ah, that would be why. I’m in construction. Travel all over the place for it but I’ve been stuck on a project here for the past couple of months.”

  They talked as best they could through the volume of the weather. It turned out that his offices were close to where Tash lived, and when the storm finally died down they’d agreed that if they ran into each other back home, they would have coffee.